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Dr. Bob's Daily Messages 

“Do You Understand Adoption?”
By Dr. Bob Stouffer, Superintendent, Des Moines Christian
Friday, July 23, 2010

I am an adoptive parent. I served for six years on a Board which oversaw the work of an international adoption agency. So I have a fairly good understanding of the processes and issues associated with adoption. God recently convicted me about my understanding of adoption. Perhaps I didn’t know as much as I thought. Just like every other over-achiever in this world, I dug into the research. I read the following four books in the last two months to gain a better knowledge of adoption:

• Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, by Sherri Eldridge
• Handbook on Thriving As an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to Common Challenges, by David and Renee Sanford, eds.
• Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow, by Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky
• Adoptees Come of Age, by Ronald J. Nydam

I should say that I wish I knew 16 years ago what I now understand today after reading these books. I know Cheryl and I would have still become adoptive parents, but we would have come into the experience with our eyes wide open to both the obvious and hidden aspects of adoption.

I would also say that I gained a great deal from my reading of all four books. Even though Ronald Nydam “lost me” around p. 114 of his book – due to some of his liberal theology and non-biblical counsel – I still gained a great deal of knowledge from every book. I am usually able to discern truth from the tickling of my ear, and I never like to throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water (so to speak). Keck and Kupecky’s book was particularly practical – for those of you who are contemplating adoption, I highly recommend their work and Sherrie Eldridge’s book.

The easiest way to “review” these books is to give highlights from my reading. Sherrie Eldridge included a statement at the beginning of each chapter, and I believe those statements by adoptive children stand alone to reveal so much about the perspectives of children who have been adopted:

1. “I suffered a profound loss before I was adopted. You are not responsible.”
2. “I need to be taught that I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed.”
3. “If I don’t grieve my loss, my ability to receive love from you and others will be hindered.”
4. “My unresolved grief may surface in anger toward you.”
5. “I need your help in grieving my loss. Teach me how to get in touch with my feelings about my adoption and then validate [my feelings].”
6. “Just because I don’t talk about my birth family doesn’t mean I don’t think about them.”
7. “I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family.”
8. “I need to know the truth about my conception, birth, and family history, no matter how painful the details may be.”
9. “I am afraid I was ‘given away’ by my birth mother because I was a bad baby. I need you to help me dump my toxic shame.”
10. “I am afraid you will abandon me.”
11. “I may appear more ‘whole’ than I actually am. I need your help to uncover the parts of myself that I keep hidden, so I can integrate all the elements of my identity.”
12. “I need to gain a sense of personal power.”
13. “Please don’t say I look or act just like you. I need you to acknowledge and celebrate our differences.”
14. “Let me be my own person. . . .But don’t let me cut myself off from you.”
15. “Please respect my privacy regarding my adoption. Don’t tell other people without my consent.”
16. “Birthdays may be difficult for me.”
17. “Not knowing my full medical history can be distressing at times.”
18. “I am afraid I will be too much for you to handle.”
19. “When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang int there with me, and respond wisely.”
20. “Even if I decide to search for my birth family, I will always want you to be my parents.”

In spite of what I perceived to be a less-than-biblical analysis, Ronald Nydam still offered some of the most helpful advice about the special difficulties faced by adopted children who enter adolescence and early adulthood. Did you know, for instance, that adopted children make up 2% of the population but around one-third of the population of adolescents receiving counseling? The percentage becomes more proportionate in adulthood.

Nydam focused on the issues of adopted individuals at the point of relinquishment and adoption. For example, relinquishment causes pain to the birth mother AND to the adoptive mother who has experienced infertility; the adoptive Mom sometimes deals with the “loss” of ability to parent birth children. Please allow me to liberally quote from Nydam’s book (and provide some periodic commentary) as a summary of his book:

“Relinquishment and adoption are two separate ongoing processes, not simply single separate events.” (p. 2) “. . .relinquishment and adoption are separate, although parallel, lifelong processes that influence and impact each other in a variety of ways.” (p. 13)

Relinquishment creates a “primal wound.” (p. 32) Even babies in the womb can experience the mother’s pain about upcoming relinquishment.

“. . .the reality of being relinquished, of losing one’s birth parents, may serve as the guiding force by which one determines the shape of personal connections.” (p. 14)

“. . .the very attachment needed for healthy development [at adoption] may be impacted by the injury of the primal wound of relinquishment.” (p. 15)

Relinquishment can compromise attachment of the adopted child to the adoptive mother. (p. 75)

“I hate my relinquishment. I love my adoption!” (Elizabeth Starr, p. 1 of book)

Some adopted children can never developmentally enter adulthood due to wounds which frozen them at earlier stages of development.

“Being adopted is about second-place belonging, no matter how good the second place may be.” (p. 149)

Birth parents become “ghost parents” about whom adopted children still fantasize.

[The word, “illegitimate,” should never be used in conjunction with adopted children. No child is “illegitimate” in God’s eyes.]

The adopted child typically takes one of two paths – (1) the extremely obedient child who represses anger and other emotion related to relinquishment, manifesting issues later in development or (2) the extremely disobedient child who lashes out anger intended for the birth mother on the adoptive mother.

How much information should an adopted child know about birth parents?

“The more one knows, the less one guesses.” (p. 68)

“Even bad news is good news because it is real news.” (p. 109)

Relinquishment and adoptive issues can compromise an adopted person’s ability to connect effectively in adult relationships.

“If the pain of relinquishment remains as the guiding principle by which one determines one’s life, then love and life never quite work.” (p. 89)

“Adoptees who have the blessing and encouragement of adoptive parents to learn their whole story and who meet and relate to their birth parents, in appropriate ways as they grow up, may have the best chance of a fuller and more meaningful life.” (p. 110)

This book lost me around p. 114. Every reference to male pronouns used for God was followed by (sic.), which, in Latin, means “error,” and most of the references to God were very vague, other-worldly concepts. Also, the author never once indicated in his chapter on hope that Jesus Christ should be the object of our hope.

There you have it. Mine is an imperfect “tour” through these four adoption books, but, hopefully, those of you who desire a better understanding of adoption, your own adoption, or your own adoptive children have benefited from the tour. As important, those of you who are considering adoption should know about these issues before your adoptive child/ren come/s into your home. As I indicated earlier, Cheryl and I would have adopted Hannah no matter what in 1995, but I would have been a much better adoptive parent if I had read these books prior to that year.

Cheryl and I love Hannah as unconditionally as we love our daughter Molly, who was born to us through natural childbirth. God blesses us with children in so many ways. That’s the bottom-line: Children are a blessing from the Lord. You must also remember that all of us who claim Jesus Christ as Lord of our lives are “adopted children”! We were born, “not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” (John 1:13) As the great song goes, we have been “adopted by the King,” and, as such, we are co-heirs with Christ, inheritors of everlasting life! What a glorious adoption indeed!

Bibliography

Eldridge, Sherrie. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. New York: Delta
Trade Paperbacks, 1999.

Keck, Gregory C. and Regina M. Kupecky. Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and
Grow. Colorado Springs, Colorado: Pinon Press, 2002.

Nydam, Ronald J. Adoptees Come of Age. Louisville, Kentucky: Westminister John Knox Press, 1999.

Sanford, David and Renee, eds. Handbook on Thriving As an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to
Common Challenges. Carol Stream, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2008.

“Rock on, God!”
By Dr. Bob Stouffer, Superintendent, Des Moines Christian
Thursday, July 22, 2010

When I returned to work in July after my sabbatical leave and vacation in June, I didn’t really say much about my experiences with Challenge 2010 in Columbus, Ohio. I suppose my 30 pages of notes on the home page of the school website (www.dmcs.org) stand for themselves, but I would be remiss if I didn’t recount some of the highlights of an event which I hope impacts Des Moines Christian through me and the numerous Des Moines Christian students who were in Ohio.

Challenge is the every-other-year rally of Evangelical Free Church of America high school students. If your son or daughter is a high school student in 2012, I heartily recommend that you figure out a way to finance the trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. If you’re not associated with an EFCA church, no problem! Sign your child up with one of the EFCA youth groups in the area: Johnston, Westchester in Des Moines, Valley in West Des Moines, New Hope in Adel, or Waukee Community Church. Denominational barriers should not prevent students from attending such a wonderful spiritual growth opportunity as this one.

This Challenge was the best of the five which I’ve worked as a hotel or dorm supervisor. I also worked Georgia Tech in 2002, Salt Lake in 2004 and 2008, and Purdue in 2006. (I think I got those years right.) What made Columbus “the best” of those 5 I have worked thus far? Well, I’m glad you asked.

Of course, I was thrilled that my lovely bride, Cheryl, joined me for her first Challenge. She did an excellent job, jumping right in and developing solutions to challenges on-the-fly. And the people of Columbus, Ohio were wonderful hosts. They generally showed great restraint in understanding the “energy” and “unique behaviors” of Christian teenagers who were footloose in a new and exciting city.

While I wasn’t personally thrilled by the “tasty” nature of the meals, I found it remarkable that hundreds of food service workers were so incredibly friendly, and over 5,000 people were fed within just a couple hours for each meal.

There was remarkable “integration” of the praying, preaching, teaching, art, drama, sports, recreation, offering, and service opportunities for the 4,700 students who were in attendance. Hundreds of volunteers in security, medical, housing, recreation, and special events offered firm, but grace-filled supervision of the high school students. I could tell that conference planners went to extraordinary lengths to organize extremely well around the theme, “Undo.”

The sacrificial giving of everyone in attendance warmed my soul. Students and adults alike were generous in their gifts of time to meet the goal of sewing 3,000 backpacks to support the release of 10,000 sex slaves in just ONE Calcutta, India brothel. The conference secured dozens of new sponsors of destitute children in the Congo. Students and adults alike offered $32,000 for a special offering intended as seed money for two new church plants in the City of Columbus! If that wasn’t exciting enough, the Evangelical Free Church of America matched the amount, so church planters will have wonderful financial resources from the $64,000 available to them!

One of the mainstay activities of Challenge is “The Prayer Army” which gathers daily prior to each rally of the entire body. In the past, it’s been cool to watch dozens of kids praying for the Challenge experience and the entire city. This year, HUNDREDS of students were praying! I don’t believe I am overestimating when I say that at least 1,000 students (of the 4,700) were praying over the seats in the hall prior to one of the rallies! HOW ENCOURAGING!

The preaching and teaching and exhorting of Challenge 2012 was THE BEST EVER. Instruction and application from Jesus’ Beatitudes challenged all of us to a life which is so very different than that sought by the world. The Pastors, one of whom was our own local Geoff Safford of Westwind Church in Waukee, came at the audiences with all of the fire and enthusiasm of the Holy Spirit. Students in junior high and high school youth groups need the meat of the Word of God, and they need to be challenged to impact their churches, neighborhoods, and schools with the truth of Jesus Christ! I pray that at least TWICE AS MANY students rock New Orleans in 2012 and then subsequently in their communities!

The great conference take-away for me came at a pivotal point of worship on the last day. The artist who had been creating art on-stage during the singing time of worship moved the four U-N-D-O blocks, reversed and changed one of the letter blocks, and spelled out D-O-N-E. That action alone should have ignited all kinds of conversation in huddle groups afterwards! I suppose any biblical interpretation of the artist’s action is acceptable, but here’s how I took the change: Jesus came to earth to “undo” the ritualistic, religious legalism (I don’t think that’s redundancy) which had come to characterize the culture of Israel. Through the Beatitudes and so much more of Jesus’ teaching, He talked about personal relationship with God. “Undo” religion with relationship was His message. Another obvious switch of U-N-D-O to D-O-N-E is Christ’s redemptive work on the cross. I praise God that several students jumped and skipped away from Challenge 2010 with a saving faith in Jesus Christ!

To conclude, the greatest prayer of my heart is that the Des Moines Christian students represented at Challenge 2010 will rock the world of our school through their spiritual leadership at DMC during the 2010-2011 school year! Rock on, Lions! Rock on, God! Rock on!

“Holy, Holy, Holy Healing Spirit of God”
By Bob Stouffer
CrossTrainers Unplugged
Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Opening

The speakers of CrossTrainers are “unplugged” during the summer of 2010. In other words, each man has the choice of determining how God is “speaking” to him through the Holy Spirit, and the teaching does not center on a single book study or theme. So I had the privilege to speak on July 14th about recent illumination in my own life about healing and deliverance ministries. The text of that message follows. (Men who are interested in joining the fellowship of CrossTrainers should meet any Wednesday morning at Valley Church, 4343 Fuller Road, West Des Moines (just east of the (I-35/George M. Mills Civic Parkway interchange). CrossTrainers meets from 6:30-7:30 a.m.

In John 14:12, Jesus said to His disciples,

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.”

What did Jesus mean by that?
. . .

What did Jesus “DO” in his ministry?
. . .

Jesus healed.

Jesus delivered people from spiritual bondage.

Who here can share an example of an inexplicable healing or deliverance?
. . .

Whether you are a secessionist or not, I want to challenge you today to think anew about healing and deliverance IN OUR TIMES.

Body of Analysis

Today, and during my CrossTrainers Unplugged time in August, I am going to share the history of healing and deliverance in the Christian church and why healing and deliverance ministries are on life-support in the United States.

Let’s first look at Jesus’ ministry of healing and deliverance –

Not all of his miracles – like turning water into wine, walking on water, calming the storm, multiplying food to feed thousands –

Just the miracles of healing and deliverance, which are abundant.

I am an overachiever. On Sunday, I spent hours scouring a harmony of the Gospels to provide you with examples.

Listen to these examples of Jesus’ healing ministry, and be prepared to make observations about these examples.

If you would like the full transcript of my notes, including all of the Scriptural citations, please look for the document at the CrossTrainers website or Des Moines Christian School website.

Starting with John 2:23-25. . .

• People saw the signs of Jesus, and they “believed in his name.
• Early in his ministry, though, he did not want people to make witness of healing and deliverance. His time would come. Some of the people he healed kept quiet, as commanded; some did not or could not remain silent. Could you?!

John 4:46-54

• A man’s son was sick. The man asked Jesus to heal his son; he believed Jesus COULD heal his son, but he didn’t initially “believe” in Jesus as Savior.
• Jesus believed this man’s motivation was not right; He believed the man sought a sign to believe in Jesus. But Jesus saw a need. He had compassion for the sick son.
• Jesus was not physically present with the boy, but He healed him.
• The man and his entire family believed as a result of this healing.

Matthew 8:2-4 (and Mark 1:35-39 and Luke 5:12-16)

• A leper knelt by Jesus.
• The leper believed that Jesus could heal him.
• Jesus stretched out His hand and touched the leper.
• Jesus reinforced the leper’s belief in Jesus’ healing touch.
• Jesus commanded that the leper be clean, and, immediately, the leper was clean.
• Jesus told the leper not to tell anyone, but to make an offering in accordance with Jewish law.

Matthew 8:14-17 (and Mark 1:29-34 and Luke 4:38-41)

• Peter’s mother-in-law was sick.
• Jesus saw that she was sick. He saw the need. He had compassion for her.
• Jesus touched the woman’s hand, and the fever left her.
• Immediately, she got up and started serving Jesus.

• Sick people and people oppressed by evil spirits were brought to Jesus.
• Jesus saw the illness and oppression. He had compassion for these people. He stated that he performed these signs as fulfillment of prophecy from Isaiah.
• Jesus cast off spirits and healed the sick.

Matthew 9:1-8 (and Mark 2:1-12 and Luke 5:17-26)

• Friends of a paralyzed man lowered the man through a hole in the roof to the crowded room where Jesus taught.
• First, Jesus forgave this paralyzed man’s sins (addressing his spiritual needs).
• Jesus then commanded the man to step up from his mat and walk.
• The man stood up and walked home!!!
• People in the crowd were afraid, and they glorified God for healing this man through Jesus.

John 5:1-9

• A man had been an invalid for 38 years.
• Jesus saw the man in the healing pool. He saw a need.
• Jesus asked, “Do you want to be healed?” An interesting question, which could have had a double meaning. “Do you want to be healed physically? Do you want to be healed spiritually?”
• The man did not know who Jesus was. The man initially believed more in the healing power of the waters, which he did not have access to at that very moment.
• Jesus commanded the man to get up and walk.
• The man got up immediately and walked. No need for the waters of this healing pool when Jesus is involved!
• The Jewish power-mongers were offended that Jesus had healed someone on the Sabbath.

Matthew 12:9-14 (and Mark 3:1-6 and Luke 6:6-11)

• Jesus was in the synagogue of Jerusalem on the Sabbath. He saw a man with a withered hand (a physical need).
• The Pharisees challenged Jesus as to whether He should heal on the Sabbath.
• Jesus was God, so He decided it was “good” to heal someone on the Sabbath.
• Jesus commanded the man to stretch out his hand.
• The man obeyed. He stretched out his hand, and the hand was restored immediately.
• As a result, the Pharisees conspired to kill Jesus.

Matthew 8:5-13

• A centurion’s servant was paralyzed.
• The centurion was compassionate, hurting terribly because his servant was suffering.
• The centurion did not explicitly ask Jesus to heal his servant, but Jesus knew that such was the centurion’s heart.
• The centurion did not believe himself worthy of Jesus coming to his home. He was humble.
• The centurion did, however, understand authority; when he issued an order, he knew the directive was to be followed. The centurion understood and had the faith that Jesus had the authority to heal.
• Jesus commented favorably on the centurion’s faith.
• Even though He was not in the presence of the centurion’s servant, Jesus healed the man; He told the centurion to go home, and the servant was healed at the exact time mentioned by Jesus.

Luke 7:11-17
• A woman’s only son was dead. (Her husband had died previously; she was a widow.)
• Jesus “had compassion on her.” He comforted her. He said, “Do not weep.”
• Jesus touched the stand on which the corpse was lying, stopping the pallbearers.
• Jesus told the young dead man to rise.
• The dead man sat up and started to speak!
• Jesus “gave” the young man (as a “gift,” in the original Greek) to his mother.
• Praise and worship broke out, and Jesus’ renown spread.

Matthew 8:28-34 (and Mark 5:1-20 and Luke 8:26-39)

• Two men were possessed by demons (the need).
• The demons acknowledged Jesus as the Son of God.
• Jesus said, “Go.”
• The demons were cast into the herd of pigs, crashing to their death over a cliff into the waters below.
• The herdsmen offered testimony of this event to others.
• People came to Jesus on the strength of those testimonies.

Matthew 9:18-26 (and Mark 5:21-43 and Luke 8:26-39)

• Jairus’ daughter had died.
• Jairus believed that Jesus could place his hand on her and raise her from death.
• Jesus saw the need, following Jairus to his home.
• Jesus told everyone in the home that the girl was sleeping, not dead. They laughed at Jesus; they had no belief that the girl could be raised from the dead.
• Jesus took the girl by her hand and walked away from the bed with her!
• Jesus’ renown spread because of this miraculous resurrection.

• As Jesus was following Jairus to his home, a sick woman approached Jesus. She had suffered from continuous bleeding for 12 years, with no help from her doctors. She believed Jesus could heal her by simply touching the fringe of His garment. She touched Jesus.
• Jesus experienced a drain of power from her touch. He turned to her.
• Jesus knew her faith. He appreciated her faith, instantly healing her.

Matthew 9:27-34

• Two blind men knew who Jesus was, approaching him for mercy and healing.
• Jesus asked if they believed He could heal them.
• They said they believed He could heal them.
• Jesus saw the need and touched their eyes, commenting on their faith.
• Jesus restored their sight, commanding them to tell no one of this healing.
• They could not keep this miracle to themselves, and Jesus’ fame spread all-the-more.

• Someone brought a demon-possessed mute man to Jesus. They were seeking healing.
• Jesus cast the demon out of the man, and he was immediately no longer mute.
• Some were amazed by Jesus’ healing power, but the Pharisees expressed that Jesus cast out demons under the power of Satan.

Matthew 14:34-36 (and Mark 6:53-56)

• Near the Sea of Galilee, men recognized Jesus and knew of his healing power, so they brought the sick to Jesus, imploring him to heal them, possibly even through their touching of Jesus’ garments.
• As many as touched Jesus’ garments WERE healed.

Matthew 15:29-31 (and Mark 7:31-37)

• In the Decapolis, great crowds came to Jesus with “the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others.”
• Jesus saw the need, and he healed them.
• And the crowds were astonished that the mute were speaking, the crippled were healthy, the lame were walking, and the blind were seeing. They glorified and worshipped God as a result.

Mark 8:22-26

• Some people begged Jesus to give sight to a blind man at Bethsaida.
• Jesus saw the need and led the man by the hand outside the city, spitting on his eyes and laying hands on his eyes. He could see some, but not clearly.
• The healing was progressive. Jesus again laid hands on the man. His sight was restored perfectly.
• Jesus told the man not to enter the village (or his renown would have grown to too great a degree for this timing of Jesus’ ministry).

Matthew 17:14-20 (and Mark 9:14-29 and Luke 9:37-43b)

• A man knelt by Jesus, begging him to heal his epileptic son, believing Jesus could do so.
• The man also commented that Jesus’ disciples could not heal the boy.
• Jesus expressed frustration about the disciples’ failure to heal the boy, commenting on their lack of faith.
• Jesus asked that the boy be brought to him. Jesus rebuked the evil spirit within the boy, and he was healed immediately.

On August 11th, I will share additional examples of healing and deliverance ministry in the Gospel and the book of Acts. Until then, consider the following question.

Applications and Closing

So what?! How can you apply this teaching to your own life today? What are you going to do about it?

Jesus said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.”

To what extent do you believe that promise? What is preventing you or the body of Christ from fulfilling that promise of Christ?

During my teaching in August, I will return to this topic, talk about the history of healing and deliverance ministries in the body of Christ, give reasons for these ministries all but dying in the American church and dead mainline denominations of the world, and then challenge us once again to participate in healing ministries.

Closing Prayer

Let’s pray. . . .

FLAME ON!

Resources

Grudem, Wayne. Systematic Theology. 2000.

The Holy Bible. English Standard Version. 2001.

MacNutt, Francis. The Healing Reawakening. 2005.

Thomas, Robert L. and Stanley N. Gundry. The NIV Harmony of the Gospels. San Francisco: Harper and Row Publishers, 1988.

“The Des Moines Christian School Board of Directors and the Holy Spirit”
By Dr. Bob Stouffer, Superintendent, Des Moines Christian School
Monday, July 12, 2010

I shared the following devotional at the Des Moines Christian School Board meeting after the new Board had been seated for their work for the 2010-2011 school year.

In John 18:37, Jesus gave the reason He was born: “For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” (All references are from the English Standard Version.)

Jesus also said, ““I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

EVERYTHING Jesus said and did on earth was meant to honor and glorify God the Father: “I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do.” (John 17:4)

John also records in his Gospel, “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.” (John 14:12)

Will I do even greater things than that which Jesus did?!

I should claim that truth in faith! But I do not do so often enough!

Jesus said it would be an “advantage” for Him to leave this earth and send the Holy Spirit. How can that be?

“. . .it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you.” (John 16:7)

“. . .the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things.” (John 14:26)

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.” (John 16:13)

“[The Holy Spirit] will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you.” (John 16:14)

The Spirit indwells us. He empowers us.

He gives each of us at least one spiritual gift.:

Prophecy, Service, Teaching, Exhortation, Contributing, Leadership, or Acts of Mercy (from Romans 12:6-8).

Utterance of Wisdom, Healing, Working of Miracles, Prophecy The Ability to Distinguish Between Spirits, Speaking in Tongues, Interpreting Tongues, Helping, or Administrating (from 1 Corinthians 12:4–11, 28-30)

Each of us must know what that gift is.

And each must use that gift.

We must walk by the Spirit (not the flesh): “. . .I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16)

People will know that we are growing in the likeness of Christ when we give evidence of fruit of the Spirit: “. . .the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. . . .those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” (Galatians 5:22, 24-25)

Finally, we must seek UNITY of the Spirit through the bond of peace:

“¹I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, ²with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3)

“. . .¹²equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, ¹³until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. . . .¹⁶the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:12-13, 16)

I believe all of these principles guide our work as a leadership team at Des Moines Christian School.

“I’m Back – to Joy!”

I am VERY sad at this time of year. Over 700 students are about to empty out of the building for summer vacation. The end of a school year makes the students quite happy. But I am sad. Really! I mean it! People started asking me a couple weeks ago whether I was “counting down the days” of the waning school year. I NEVER count down the days of the school year. I don’t ever want the kids to leave! The very life of the school gets sucked out of the building at the point of the last day of the school year for students. I will miss our conversations at the entrances, in the hallways, in classrooms, and at extracurricular activities. I certainly wish everyone well for a very safe and enjoyable summer, but please know that you will also be missed. 

That being said, I am also VERY excited about a special occurrence for me in June! I will be taking a sabbatical leave! I have qualified for this leave since 2005, so I have only myself to blame for not scheduling the leave. Some of you may be asking what it means for me to take a sabbatical. To provide an answer is the purpose of this website posting.

As you note in the introductory definition, a sabbatical is intended as an extended period of time from my customary work as Superintendent of Des Moines Christian School. Sabbaticals are also often intended for rest, spiritual growth, and acquisition of new skills or training. I don’t imagine that I will get a whole lot of rest during my sabbatical in June, but I will be resting from my typical DMC responsibilities. In a way, I will be acquiring new skills by indirect means.

Please allow me to compose a 5-question “Frequently Asked Questions” about Dr. Bob’s Sabbatical!

Why is Dr. Bob qualified to take a sabbatical leave? Board Policy allows the Principals to take week-long sabbaticals and the Superintendent to take a 3-week-long sabbatical after five continuous years of service to the school. So, if I stay at DMC, I will qualify for another sabbatical in 2015. I qualified in 2005, but the move of the school and the pressing demands of those transition years delayed my leave. (Shame on me!) But this year was the year! So I will be taking my leave from June 8-28^th.

What will Dr. Bob be doing? I wrote the first draft of my first book during spring break this year. That’s right! I sat for 40 hours during spring break, and I completed the initial draft. During my sabbatical leave, I will be “rounding out” the analysis through research and additional writing. I like to say that my 145-pound wrestler will become a heavyweight in June. Such is the goal. (Just so you know, this is my “first” book. I have already written several chapters of a Christian parenting book that my 23-year-old daughter Molly wants to co-author with me, and I have a lengthy plot and characterizations sketched-out for a Western novel (which I have entitled H!).

What will Dr. Bob not be doing? That’s an interesting but necessary question. I WILL NOT be doing any DMC work. I will be looking at (but not responding to my school) e-mails, deleting when possible. I will not be coming onto the school campus, which will be hard for me, since I love baseball and softball games. I am treating this leave as though I were in Colorado or England and not physically able to attend to any school business on our property. I know that if I appear at a game, school business will quickly ensue. 

Will Dr. Bob be available for school business? Only in an emergency. June is a good time to be gone, because the pace slows dramatically after the students and teachers leave the building. 

For non-emergency decisions, who should I go to instead of Dr. Bob? Our school leaders are certainly qualified to make decisions in my place. The administrative team has been empowered to fulfill some of my important day-to-day tasks. Or simply wait to speak with me when I am back in the office in July. My fellow team members won’t know where I’m working off-site. Not even my wife knows where I will be spending my time during the sabbatical. She has my cell phone number, though, in case she must interrupt me. 

I am very much looking forward to the different “rhythm” of life during my sabbatical leave. I actually learned some really interesting things about the word, “sabbatical.” I should have guessed that the origin of the word came from “Sabbath.” Obviously, God celebrated his six-day Creation by resting on the seventh day. A sabbatical leave approximates the proportion of rest needed after hard work. (God didn’t need rest after His creation. He is omnipotent. He never tires. We, obviously, do tire and need rest.)

The history of the word dates back to 1645 A.D. –  "of or suitable for the Sabbath," from the Latin sabbaticus and from the Greek, sabbatikos, "of the Sabbath.” Starting in that year, a year's absence was granted to researchers (originally one year in seven to university professors) based on the seventh year of the Mosaic law, during which time land was to remain untilled and debtors and slaves released.

So, there you have it – all you wanted to know about sabbaticals, my sabbatical, and more! Please pray that God will help me to accomplish my goals of finishing my book, staying connected to my family, renewing spiritually, and recharging for my work as Superintendent of Des Moines Christian! Thanks for your prayers and encouragement at this time!

Country music fans, do you remember the classic “Boot Scootin’ Boogie,” by Brooks and Dunn?! (During my country phase of the late-80s and early-90s, I vividly remember the tune and genesis of country line dancing!) 

Well, I’ve got a variation of that same metre as the title of this commentary – “The Open House Shuffle”! The Open House Shuffle is every bit as invigorating as a line dance! What are the steps? #1 – Pencil in your map. #2 – Slide into your seat. #3 – Put the pedal to the metal. #4 – Swing from neighborhood-to-neighborhood and town-to-town. #5 Do-si-do past the shrines and food lines. #6 – Sashay through the kitchen or television room for conversation with the relatives. #7 – Sign the registry, children’s book, and frame matting. And #8 – repeat steps #1 through #7 throughout the day to the point of exhaustion! 

Of course, I am writing about the height of the graduation open house season, which has trickled down to just a few more parties for the Des Moines Christian Class of 2010. People wonder if I enjoy attending these celebrations, and I can honestly state that I DO find great joy in attending the parties. Everyone is in such a great frame-of-mind, the houses look spectacular, and the food is to die-for. 

Graduation open houses of the type I am attending now are a relatively new phenomenon for me in my educational career. When I was an English teacher, coach, and associate principal in Pleasant Valley (1982-1990), I remember parents throwing parties in that era, but too many folks offered alcohol, and I was never comfortable attending gatherings where students (including the new graduates) were under the same roof as alcohol, so I seldom attended the open houses. 

I experienced the more contemporary “dry” open houses during my tenure as Principal of Urbandale High School (1992-2000). In fact, one of my most enjoyable memories of open houses occurred after my final UHS graduation.   On one day of that open house season, my five-year-old daughter Hannah and I attended 26 parties in one day! (Hannah is a “party” animal!) We began our day at 8:00 a.m. and concluded the experience at 10:30 p.m.! (I don’t think Hannah had the attention span or commitment to persevere through the entire day.) I averaged about 15 minutes per open house, and I must have gained about five pounds in that day alone. After all, I couldn’t dishonor the host/ess by failing to partake of at least a nibble at each house! I was exhausted at the end of that day, but it’s a great memory (and story). 

The population of Des Moines Christian poses some unique challenges in the graduation open house season. Our families are spread all over Kingdom Come! Mrs. G.P.S. Garmin becomes my best friend; I love the sound of her voice as I meander through some of the most unique routes of Central Iowa. (What were some of our city planners thinking when they designed certain street gridwork?!) This year, I enjoyed gatherings in Adel, Norwalk, Johnston, Altoona, Des Moines, West Des Moines, Waukee, Clive, and, of course, Urbandale. A guy better have a plan if he expects to make as many of those parties as possible. (Sometimes, it is physically impossible to attend every party due to the challenges of timeframes and geography.) Due to my extensive experience of 18 years, I have become quite adept at quickly analyzing schedules and determining the most efficient routes and partying! 

On Saturday past, I shared a creative solution for Des Moines Christian with some of my fellow party-ers. I would be thrilled to one day (literally) put the tarps down on our gymnasium floor, arrange 50+ tables along the perimeter (for the shrines and registries), set up buffet lines in the Multi-Purpose Room, and keep the school open for the entire day! The plan is perfect in my mind! We’ve got plenty of parking spaces (over 700). Our kitchen is an ideal staging area for food. We could coordinate menus to have THE broadest variation of food offerings! A variation of this methodology could include opening individual classrooms of our buildings, so we could include the equivalent of a “school open house” from dawn to dusk! 

You may love the idea, too! Some of you won’t. It’s too practical. It’s an idea a man would come up with. The Moms usually want to make some type of home improvement (or two or three or four or more) prior to the open house, so my idea puts a damper on those possibilities. (That being said, one Dad responded to my plan with “I love the idea, and my wife would still make all of the home improvements anyway!!!!!” Probably so. 

Any way, thanks, parents of graduates in the Class of 2010! We have enjoyed your open houses, but, more importantly, we have enjoyed your children! Praise God for our graduating seniors!

It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood,

A beautiful day for a neighbor.

Would you be mine?

Could you be mine?

I’ve always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.

I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So, let’s make the most of this beautiful day.

Since we’re together we might as well say,

Would you be mine?

Could you be mine?

Won’t you be my neighbor?

Won’t you, please?

Won’t you, please?

Please won’t you be my neighbor?

Of course, if you are a Baby Boomer, you recognize those lyrics! We were weaned as children by cardigan-clad Fred Rogers singing to us in the most gentle terms. Who wouldn’t want to join Mr. Rogers in his neighborhood after having been sung-to with such joy-filled, welcoming words?! 

Those thoughts popped into my head by way of application to Dr. Greg Robinson, as we celebrate his retirement from the Urbandale Community School District.

I have thoroughly enjoyed living in “Dr. Robinson’s Neighborhood” for the past 18 years. Greg and I have been friends during that entire timeframe – first, as fellow school principals in Urbandale – next, when he served as my boss in the Associate Superintendency – and, now, finally, as we part ways, two Superintendents of students in the City of Urbandale (since I serve as Superintendent of Des Moines Christian School, located in “Western Urbandale”). 

I have seen Fred Rogers, and Greg Robinson is no Fred Rogers! That being said, there are certainly similarities, as I consider the lyrics of the famous Mr. Rogers’ song. Seems to me that, to Dr. Robinson, every day WAS a beautiful day in the neighborhood of the Urbandale Schools or city. He and I share a very positive outlook about our schools and wonderful community. 

And it’s certainly a beautiful day for a neighbor; Greg Robinson has never met a stranger. “So many potential friends, so little time” is Greg’s mantra. (Mine, too.)  Stranger, would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won’t you be my neighbor? Greg has tirelessly promoted the benefits of Urbandale and the schools to any and all who would listen. Such is why I nominated him and he was selected for Urbandale Chamber of Commerce Citizen of the Year one year.

Most importantly, EVERY SINGLE CHILD in Urbandale has value to Greg Robinson. He has been a great role model for me in that regard. When he served as Director of Special Education for the UCSD, I distinctly remember him stating on multiple occasions that “Urbandale kids must be educated by Urbandale teachers.” Nearly all of the outsourcing to other school districts ended, and those students were valued in the Urbandale Schools. 

Greg has also been very generous in his regard for Des Moines Christian (and St. Pius) students from Urbandale, supporting any parent’s right to choose the education for a child. He knows that parents are ultimately responsible for the education of their children, and he has always communicated a positive desire to engage in full partnership between the school and home. 

I would be so bold as to say that no public school district and non-public school of the same community enjoy a more positive relationship in the State of Iowa (or perhaps even regionally or nationally) than do the Urbandale Schools and Des Moines Christian. Greg has personally been highly complimentary of our accomplishments at DMC. My friendship with Greg has meant a great deal to that relationship, but I certainly hope that such a collaborative partnership is not dependent upon the personalities and philosophies of the superintendents. Such is just good partnering in a community which is dedicated to the general welfare of its children. (I know the new Urbandale Superintendent, Dr. Doug Stilwell, will bring a similar attitude to our friendship, so, while I am saddened to see Greg retire, I am still very encouraged by the continuing positive relationship between our school communities.)

I want the Urbandale Schools to be successful. When the Urbandale Schools are successful, the water in the harbor raises for everyone in the community. I was convicted of this truth in the past year when a Bible teacher directed my eyes (and the Holy Spirit directed my mind and heart) to Jeremiah 29:7 –                 “. . .seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you. . .and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” In the Urbandale School’s “welfare,” I will find Des Moines Christian’s welfare, my neighborhood’s welfare, and my city’s welfare. I pray for the welfare of the Urbandale Community School District. 

As Greg was promoting the bond referendum to build the new Urbandale High School, he addressed the largest annual gathering of Des Moines Christian in the August before the election. You might imagine that an audience of people paying $5,000 or $6,000 per student would not be overly receptive to the message of such a referendum, since they are paying taxes in their home districts, including Urbandale, which is the community of highest representation at DMC. But Greg was not to be deterred. He marched right into that gym with that highly-recognizable gait, and, as is always the case, he used charm, self-deprecating humor, and data to make his case. I was not at all surprised that he received his only standing ovation from that audience of all of the audiences before which he lobbied for votes (at least according to him). The proof is in the pudding. The referendum passed, and Urbandale now boasts a beautiful new campus at 7111 Aurora Avenue. 

I have so many tremendous memories of my friendship with Greg Robinson. We had a lot of laughs on the sidelines of football games and in the stands at basketball games. (He attends just about every athletic, music, and dramatic activity of the high school to this day.) After Administrative Council meetings, the administrative team would normally gather to “de-brief” at the Merle Hay Food Court. I loved when our boss, Dr. Tom Davis, voluntold Greg to shadow Food Service Director Cathy Conklin, so Greg would have greater empathy for Cathy’s job; there were lots of yucks after that experience, but Greg DID gain a greater empathy for the challenges of Cathy’s work. 

Greg Robinson may be solely responsible for my remaining in Urbandale. At a point when I was becoming VERY discouraged about what I perceived to be the fai